who cares about cake
just bring on the wildebeest
ice cream looks good though
Just a quick note this morning to all of my friends and fans who have been missing me so badly. The humans took me on another one of those road trips. This one was a month long and we went over 8500 miles. Oh yeah, you’ll hear more about that later.
But what I want to share this morning is about what happened yesterday. Speedbump (as I unaffectionately refer to him because he is always in my way) went out yesterday morning to do some errands. Let me just mention that he is a compulsive grocery shopper. Both humans usually leave the house together, but yesterday Speedbump went out and did his own bopping around and left Mama here for me to play with. One of his big thrills is finding cheap avocados at this certain store. So after doing some other shopping at other places for other odds and ends, off he went in search of the avocados. His mission was a success and he took his bag full of cheap avocados out to the car.
What he discovered in the parking lot was one of those little dog creatures going nuts in a pick-up truck next to his parked car. Maybe I haven’t explained that Speedbump is a dog guy. He lets his dog, Dusty, sleep in the middle of the bed. That is my spot. Silly man. So anyway, Speedbump had to go see what was up with this dog that was freaking out in the truck next to him. What he found was a man slumped over the steering wheel and this dog barking and pawing trying to rouse him. Yikes!
Speedbump called 911 and the paramedics were there almost instantly. Turns out this man had fallen into a diabetic coma. The paramedics quickly revived the man and he was fine. Turns out this dog was the man’s service dog, trained to alert him when his blood sugar gets low.
Hmm, I guess there is a use for annoying barking creatures after all.
OK. I know I didn’t say anything about our so-called vacation yet. But I thought vacations were supposed to be fun, right?
Come to think of it I didn’t even tell you about leaving Florida and the whole crazy trip that got us to this house with the smelly beasts.
Mama is actually way behind in sharing my cuteness. There are still photos and videos from our old place in Florida she never posted. I wish I could hire some competent help.
Oh, well. Let’s just start with a picture of me. Always a good place to begin.
So let me just tell you about this latest vacation for now…
Yogaville??! They don’t even allow pets to stay there!
So we had two nights at that Sai Baba Super8 with the easy-access boxsprings. I learned quickly that check-out time means time to avoid being put into my tent and shoved into the back seat of the rental car. Check-out time means time to become invisible. I got very good at it.
When they did eventually corral me, we took off for State College so they could have their photo taken at another shrine.
No, I don’t get it either.
Worshiping me is fine, but why is the statue the wrong color?
But we got an extra big hotel room with extra windows to sit in. So that was nice. Until Mama opened one. Then this stench wafted in. Cows, she said.
Hmmm. Cows are ungulates. They don’t smell tasty. Wildebeest are ungulates. I may have to rethink my plan of following the wildebeest migration. There may be some of that stinky poo smell involved. Hmmm. Any suggestions?
I was unreachable come check-out time.
The next night was the 4th of July and we hadn’t planned on seeing any fireworks. But as soon as we got settled into our hotel room, a big display started that we could watch right from bed! That was a fun surprise! We didn’t think we would see any fireworks. (Except for those we were smuggling in the trunk.)
Then we heading north until we were about 13 miles from the Canadian border. That is the furthest north I have ever been and perhaps ever will be — unless I sneak across the border. But I don’t think they have any wildebeest up there so why bother?
We spent a couple of days at a friend’s cabin on a lake. No ungulates, no fireworks, just quiet. I was OK with that. And I didn’t have to get in the car for a couple of days, so that was very nice.
This is a picture of me when they said it was time to leave the cozy cabin. See me? In the tent? No. Under the bed. Uh-uh. In the golf bag? Nope. In-vis-i-ble!
Well, they finally lured me out with treats and got me in the car and took me back to that nice hotel with the big bed to hide under. This time I let myself fully enjoy all of the amenities.
Smelled a little funny, though.
Mama’ s tie-dye clashed with the color scheme. As usual.
On the way back home, we drove through Amish country.
Mama took these photos from the car as I considered chasing down those ungulates.
It was really hot out, though. And it might be bad form to devour a family’s transportation. Oh, well. I wasn’t that hungry, anyhow.
On the road again!
This time we are “on vacation”. Heading towards Yogaville today. Serendipitously arrived at the Sai Baba Super8 last night. Great boxsprings that are ripped open underneath so I can explore. Nice window ledge, too. Mama was talking about the sitar music playing down at breakfast.
Who knows what these silly humans are up to this time.
Having silently endured a few weeks of travel and torture, I’ve decided that is it! No more quietly ‘going with the flow’ and all that crap. I want my forts, I want my caves, I want my hideouts, I want to run laps and leap up doorjambs, I want my breakfast served on time, dagnabbit! I tried waiting patiently and silently this morning, as I have for weeks, but I just couldn’t take it any longer. It is against my true nature. I know what I want and I know when I want it!
I like my breakfast at 7 and my dinner at 6, thank you. Don’t lie there with your eyes closed when it is time to feed me! No, no, no. I finally had to stand on Mama’s chest and scream, “Enough of this crap! Open your eyes! Get up! Go fetch me foooooood! Now!”. Then I ran around the room repeating my demand. She complied. Sometimes her brain works.
Well, we’ve been in the same spot for a week and a half now. I guess I can deal with it. My room has three windows and three doorjambs. Outside of my door is a great big room full of windows. I have started zooming out of my room as soon as the door opens so I can explore this big room.
But sometimes this room is populated by large furry beasts. They don’t smell tasty. They aren’t even ungulates. Where are all the wildebeest?!? I want wildebeest!
We are moving further than originally anticipated, so we may not be around the internet for a few more days. And when we do arrive at our next destination, I won’t have frequent access. So hang in there — I’m sure JhaJha will have lots to report by the time we next check in.
JhaJha and I are in the midst of moving so you may not hear much for a few days. Still not sure where we are going or how we are getting there.
If you have a cheap van for sale or would like some groovy visitors, let us know!
(She wants to just follow the wildebeest migration, but that doesn’t quite work for me.)
Yesterday JhaJha woke me up sometime before sunrise trying to convince me to go haul in a wildebeest for her.
Today it started at 2 in the morning. As it was beginning to get light and I was finally dozing back to sleep, that familiar “blork-blork-blork” made me leap up out of bed before my eyes could even open. Yes, a fur clog needed to be unclogged. Not on the white carpet, please. But no. Instead of letting me just move her to the easy-to-clean tile, she had to run around the dark room trying to hide from me. By the time I grabbed her, it was too late. I think she got a little on my jammies, too.
I know it is part of their plot. Wear down the humans. Don’t let them sleep.
I know they are up to something. They are obviously more intelligent than us, so…fine — I give up. Just let me sleep and don’t make me eat wildebeest.
JhaJha’s servant, typist and raw meat provider
The Wildebeest Implementation episode on The Big Bang Theory
My typist laughed. A lot.