A Birthday Haiku

For Speedbump



who cares about cake

just bring on the wildebeest

ice cream looks good though


Our So-Called Vacation

OK.  I know I didn’t say anything about our so-called vacation yet.  But I thought vacations were supposed to be fun, right?

Come to think of it I didn’t even tell you about leaving Florida and the whole crazy trip that got us to this house with the smelly beasts.

Mama is actually way behind in sharing my cuteness.  There are still photos and videos from our old place in Florida she never posted.  I wish I could hire some competent help.

Oh, well. Let’s just start with a picture of me.  Always a good place to begin.

Now this is my idea of “vacation”!  Relaxing.  Everything I need within reach.

So let me  just tell you about this latest vacation for now…

Yogaville??!  They don’t even allow pets to stay there!

So we had two nights at that Sai Baba Super8 with the easy-access boxsprings.  I learned quickly that check-out time means time to avoid being put into my tent and shoved into the back seat of the rental car.  Check-out time means time to become invisible.  I got very good at it.

When they did eventually corral me, we took off for State College so they could have their photo taken at another shrine.

the faces have been changed to protect the silly

No, I don’t get it either.

Worshiping me is fine, but why is the statue the wrong color?

But we got an extra big hotel room with extra windows to sit in.  So that was nice.  Until Mama opened one.  Then this stench wafted in.  Cows, she said.

Hmmm.  Cows are ungulates.  They don’t smell tasty.  Wildebeest are ungulates.  I may have to rethink my plan of following the wildebeest migration.  There may be some of that stinky poo smell involved.  Hmmm.  Any suggestions?

Then on to a nice hotel somewhere else. 

Big bed.

I was unreachable come check-out time.

The next night was the 4th of July and we hadn’t planned on seeing any fireworks.  But as soon as we got settled into our hotel room, a big display started that we could watch right from bed! That was a fun surprise!  We didn’t think we would see any fireworks.  (Except for those we were smuggling in the trunk.)

Then we heading north until we were about 13 miles from the Canadian border.  That is the furthest north I have ever been and perhaps ever will be — unless I sneak across the border.  But I don’t think they have any wildebeest up there so why bother?

We spent a couple of days at a friend’s cabin on a lake.  No ungulates, no fireworks, just quiet.  I was OK with that.  And I didn’t have to get in the car for a couple of days, so that was very nice.

This is a picture of me when they said it was time to leave the cozy cabin.  See me?  In the tent?  No.  Under the bed.  Uh-uh. In the golf bag?  Nope.  In-vis-i-ble!

Well, they finally lured me out with treats and got me in the car and took me back to that nice hotel with the big bed to hide under.  This time I let myself fully enjoy all of the amenities.

The over-sized headboard is very well-designed for climbing and scratching.

Smelled a little funny, though.

Mama’ s tie-dye clashed with the color scheme.  As usual.

On the way back home, we drove through Amish country.

Mama took these photos from the car as I considered chasing down those ungulates.

It was really hot out, though.  And it might be bad form to devour a family’s transportation.  Oh, well.  I wasn’t that hungry, anyhow.

I’m Back: I Found My Voice and Mama Found the Camera!

I am back!

Having silently endured a few weeks of travel and torture, I’ve decided that is it!  No more quietly ‘going with the flow’ and all that crap.  I want my forts, I want my caves, I want my hideouts, I want to run laps and leap up doorjambs, I want my breakfast served on time, dagnabbit!  I tried waiting patiently and silently this morning, as I have for weeks, but I just couldn’t take it any longer.  It is against my true nature.  I know what I want and I know when I want it!

I like my breakfast at 7 and my dinner at 6, thank you.  Don’t lie there with your eyes closed when it is time to feed me!  No, no, no.  I finally had to stand on Mama’s chest and scream, “Enough of this crap!  Open your eyes!  Get up!  Go fetch me foooooood!  Now!”.  Then I ran around the room repeating my demand.  She complied.  Sometimes her brain works.

Jha in window

Well, we’ve been in the same spot for a week and a half now.  I guess I can deal with it.  My room has three windows and three doorjambs.  Outside of my door is a great big room full of windows.  I have started zooming out of my room as soon as the door opens so I can explore this big room.

looking out my door

looking out my door into the sunroom

definitely not a wildebeest

But sometimes this room is populated by large furry beasts.  They don’t smell tasty.  They aren’t even ungulates.  Where are all the wildebeest?!?  I want wildebeest!

the smelly beasts leaving

The smelly beasts are leaving the sunroom. My plan of intimidation and domination is working.



I Give Up, They Win

I Give up, They Win

Yesterday JhaJha woke me up sometime before sunrise trying to convince me to go haul in a wildebeest for her.

Today it started at 2 in the morning.  As it was beginning to get light and I was finally dozing back to sleep, that familiar “blork-blork-blork” made me leap up out of bed before my eyes could even open.  Yes, a fur clog needed to be unclogged.  Not on the white carpet, please.  But no.  Instead of letting me just move her to the easy-to-clean tile, she had to run around the dark room trying to hide from me.  By the time I grabbed her, it was too late.  I think she got a little on my jammies, too.

"I don't know what she is talking about. I am totally innocent. Look how cute I am."

I know it is part of their plot.  Wear down the humans.  Don’t let them sleep.

I know they are up to something.  They are obviously more intelligent than us, so…fine — I give up.  Just let me sleep and don’t make me eat wildebeest.

Exhaustedly Yours,

JhaJha’s servant, typist and raw meat provider

I Smell Wildebeest

Looking out my window into the darkness, I long for the open savanna.  I think I can smell a wildebeest.  And I want to eat it.  Now.

Is That a Wildebeest? I'll Eat it Anyway

This photo was taken by our friend, Das.  He makes sure I have peacock feathers to devour and brings me other treats sometimes, too.  If you like music, custom bamboo flutes, poetry or groovy photo headers, check out fantasyflutes.wordpress.com.  (My typist made his header and set up his website.  It is cool.)